A compendium of bad error messages

The subject of computer error messages is something that is guaranteed to get me riled. Errors are a sad fact of life in computing and something no one really wants to happen, but so many IT companies really don't help themselves with their unhelpful and often flippant attitudes towards them. It shouldn't be difficult to write a clear, concise description in language the average user can understand of what went wrong, what caused it and how to solve it, yet even in the short time I have worked in IT I have seen so many error messages that are quite frankly terrible and unfit for purpose and become utterly exasperated by them.

They range from the indecipherably technical to the overly 'friendly' and vague, via total gibberish, patronising nonsense, inappropriate frivolity and instructions that are quite simply impossible to follow, but all have one thing in common: they have singularly failed in their sole duty of helping the unfortunate user to understand and recover from the error. Here, in no particular order, is my own personal compendium of the worst error messages I've ever had the misfortune to encounter. You may find some of them hard to believe, such is the scale of their sheer awfulness, but I can assure you every one is genuine and has been seen on a real live computer system in the 21st century.

Why are links from Facebook crashing my browser?

Another tech post detailing a problem that's really starting to annoy me but I haven't managed to find a solution to. Whenever I try to follow a link to an external website from the Facebook app for Android, it crashes the browser with that patronising and unhelpful 'Unfortunately, Internet has stopped' message. Having read that Android's built-in 'Internet' browser is not the best, I downloaded Chrome from the app store, only for the exact same thing to happen. The browser starts to load, but before the URL even appears in the address bar, it shuts down and generates the error message so I can't even see the URL it's trying to load.

This behaviour is consistent with any external link from Facebook, regardless of the external site's address, and is getting so frustrating as it seems something very simple has been overlooked somewhere. I don't know if the cause is the Facebook app formatting URLs in a way that common browsers can't understand, or something missing from the browsers' URL handling, but I suspect the former as the problem occurs in multiple browsers. If anyone has any further information, or even better a solution, please leave a comment as this problem is starting to drive me mad.